birthday wishes
by shel
Summary: phoebe’s reaction to cole’s vanquish does not go unnoticed…


**CHARMED **

**"Birthday Wishes"**

by shel

© january 2009

_disclaimer__: the charmed ones, cole, and leo, and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love, belong to spelling television, inc. and possible other copyright holders. i intended no true infringement on their copyrights; i only wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear; the only things i've gained from this story are the satisfaction and pleasure of having written it and in knowing that others may have enjoyed it too…_

_rating__: pg-13_

_summary__: phoebe's reaction to cole's vanquish does not go unnoticed…_

_timeline__: 3 days after the events of s5's '__centennial charmed__'…_

_archive__: please don't without expressed permission…_

_notes__: minor references to s5's '__the importance of being phoebe__,' s7's '__the seven year witch__,' and s8's '__forever charmed__'…please let me know if you enjoyed my tale and why and, if not, why not…and, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames…_

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January 22, 2003

He watched her crouching in the corner of the shower as she muffled her sobs with the washcloth.

And he smiled.

Not at her pain, _never _for that.

He loved Phoebe far too much to ever wish her any pain, not even if she, or even an alternate version of she, had been the one to vanquish him.

Whether it be her fault or his, or even a combination of both, he would _never_ be happy that she was in pain.

No, he was simply happy she _felt_ it.

Only a week ago he believed she might never feel any emotion ever again.

Could it only be a week since that moment in the basement? He was unsure of the exact passage of time in this new realm. But he could still picture her face the instant he reappeared having successfully escaped being trapped in the Nexus.

The lack of emotion across her features as she most assuredly stated she had felt nothing for him when she believed him vanquished.

It was _that_ apathy that sent him spiraling towards his doom. Because it was that dead look in her eyes he envisioned when he ultimately called for the Avatar. And it was that tight line of her lips that led to his rash impulsive plan to recreate the world for her.

All he'd wanted was for her to be happy – with him. All he'd wanted was to have that passionate life together he was sure they'd deserved. All he'd wanted was _her_.

Instead, he'd nearly destroyed her.

Intellectually he'd known that Phoebe would never abide by a plan to turn evil, most especially not at the cost of her remaining sisters. Intellectually he'd known that the only way to reach her was to give her time to adjust to all that had happened. Intellectually he'd known that he should be patient.

But emotionally…

He almost rued the sacrifice of Belthazor and the ability to act without fear of consequence. For it was his emotions that had gotten the better of him and led him to act without the careful thought and planning he'd once been renowned for possessing. Ironically, in the end, it had been his human half that had been harder to control.

And it was Phoebe that had turned on his human emotional switch. She was the one who had allowed him to see that he could rise above his demon half and, in some ways, become even more powerful. She was the one who had shown him how strongly love could bind two people together.

Or tear them apart.

So now he watched over her. He watched her from this nether-realm, this limbo, as she reacted to his final vanquish.

He understood her anger at the stupidity and senseless waste of it all. He understood her sense of betrayal at how his path had seemingly come full circle to where he had begun. But most of all he understood the pain of her heart breaking.

He had once chosen her as the weakest of the three Charmed Ones but, all too often, she had proven him wrong. While each sister, including Paige, had her own strengths compared to the others, he eventually learned that Phoebe was the emotional backbone of the family. She _felt_ it all more clearly and fully than any of her sisters.

It was no surprise to him that neither Piper nor Paige had any clue their sister had spent the past three days sobbing over him. To them, Phoebe had moved on months before and they never suspected the true depth of her emotions when she behaved with a show of very little emotion just as they expected.

Each member of her family had taken Phoebe aside for a little quiet talk but easily backed off, believing Phoebe's assurances she was fine and acknowledging that her flashes of bitterness were normal. Not even the Whitelighter sensed enough to encourage Phoebe to confide in him.

It was the bitterness that worried him because it was so unlike Phoebe.

He didn't want her to turn what had happened into something of a personal failure. And he certainly didn't want her to come to believe that she was heading into a future filled with pain and longing and a lack of love.

But she wasn't turning to her family. Instead she suffered in silence, in her private corners, in those precious moments when she allowed her shields to fall completely in order to grieve.

He wanted to comfort her.

He wanted to whisper to her that all would be well in time.

He wanted to promise her that, as her Grams once taught, everything happens for a reason and one day she would realize that she needed this pain in order to meet her destiny.

He wanted to hold her and apologize for causing her pain, for not having had enough faith in either of them.

But most of all, he wanted to tell her not to give up on love.

Phoebe had to know that she still deserved to love and be loved.

And, he believed, so did he.

For even though it didn't give them the happily-ever-after of her childhood dreams, love had not failed them.

Perhaps one day he would again hear those words from her lips. Perhaps not.

Either way, he was content to stand watch over her.

And he promised never to interfere with her life.

Unless…

Unless it was her life was on the line…

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

_**January 22, 2009**_

He watched her crouching in the corner of the shower as she muffled her sobs with the washcloth.

For the second time in six years, he broke his promise and he interfered.

And for the first time in six years, he held her in his arms. "He'll be back, Phoebe. You know he will."

She silently held tightly onto him, pressing herself closer into his embrace. "You're over-reacting and it's not good for the baby," he cautioned. "You have to relax and calm down."

"He's gone," she told him in a muffled voice as she clung to him. "He's gone…He's gone…"

He rubbed her back, laying his cheek upon her head. "He loves you, Phoebe. You _know_ it. You can _feel_ it. He loves you and he'll be back."

"I called him by your name," she whispered. "I'm mother to his daughter, pregnant with our second, bonded to him in a way we never dreamed possible, and yet I called him by your name in our most intimate moment. Why would even a Cupid tolerate _that_?"

He kissed the top of her head and reached for the shower faucet, turning it off. "Because he understands love."

She shook her head and he kissed her again before gently tilting up her chin. "He _understands_ love," he repeated, making sure she met his gaze. "And he understands that love can never be vanquished."

"He left," she said, pulling away. She hugged her knees to her chest as best she could given her physical condition and she rocked back and forth, heedless of the hard tile shower floor. "He left me and I should've seen it coming. I knew it would happen. I knew one day it would --"

"Enough," he harshly told her, wrapping his arms around her again, "You can't let your emotions get the best of you. You're stronger than that, Phoebe. He may have been hurt but he understands so stop punishing yourself for a slip of love."

"He left," she weakly countered, wiping her eyes of both dripping hair and tears.

"And he _will_ return," he reminded her as he reached for the nearby towel and wrapped her in it.

"It shouldn't have happened," she sorrowfully told him.

"But it did and there's no shame in it," he said as he helped her stand. "He knows he's not lost his place in your heart."

"And you?" She gazed up at him, her brown eyes wide and full of pain.

"I know I've not lost my place either," he assured her with a genuine smile.

He caressed her cheek, "And I know I've _never_ lost it, not even in your most bitter, anger filled moments."

"I think it was the date," she sniffled. "Three days ago. I don't know why this year affected me more than any other but all week long it's all I could think about. I don't think Piper or Paige even remembered what it was."

"Coop knew," he murmured. "Don't you see, Phoebe, Coop _does_ understand. I'd be willing to bet a part of him's been waiting for a moment like this from the time you agreed to become involved with him, a time when you learned your love for him wasn't forbidden."

She stared at him in surprise and he smiled again. "I _might_ have been watching. You should probably ask Piper."

She seemed confused but he merely advised, "Don't ever give up on love, Phoebe."

"I won't," she quietly promised.

He knew the crisis was over and didn't want to prolong his interference so he began to fade from her realm.

But her touch on his arm startled him. He materialized fully again and watched her, waiting for her to speak.

The steadiness of her voice, the truth in her words plainly evident, surprised him further.

"I love you, Cole."

And he smiled for her as he faded, his words echoing in the bathroom, satisfied in knowing she would truly believe and finally forgive herself for his fate. "As I love you, Phoebe. No matter what our own destinies, our love is eternal and don't ever believe otherwise."

And so he returned to his realm and he resumed his watch over her, confident and at peace, and immensely grateful to whatever powers that be that granted birthday wishes no matter how belated.

For he knew now, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that what he and Phoebe shared, and still share, _was_ eternal and that their story would never end.

_**the end**_


End file.
